具体描述
目录 上篇 平和做人
第一章 不生气，平静谦和以修身
做人不要太敏感
心尘如落叶，需要及时清理
计较太多等于庸人自扰
苦难是财富还是屈辱
别跟自己过不去
以宽容之心，享受涅槃之乐
别拿别人的错误惩罚自己
彩虹闪耀在风雨之后
不去生气的人是聪明
幽默生活，化干戈为玉帛
第二章 少抱怨，心宽路就宽
学会自己找到净土
上善若水，随遇而安
以德报怨，多为别人着想
收敛锋芒，厚重结缘不结怨
做人不能太较真
大智大勇，大智若愚
不拘小节，不为小事烦恼
不必拿别人的标准来衡量自己
知足，快乐常在
第三章 会低头，低一时者尊一世
好为人师是浅薄
不耻下问的智慧
不管风吹浪打，胜似闲庭信步
弯腰能进财，和气可生金
与精明人共事，一定要低调
要谦虚，但不要妄自菲薄
责人勿忘先责己
天外有天，人外有人
第四章 淡荣辱，昨日之事不可留
骚扰我们的是对事物的意识，不是事物本身
多一物多一心，少一物少一念
卑己尊人是不好的，尊己卑人也是不好的
坦然面对失败，输得起才能赢得起
宠辱不惊，看庭前花开花落
知足常足，知止常止
把鲜花献给对手
接受别人的批评与反驳
第五章 常知足，得失常系一念间
无止境的欲望是痛苦的根源
看淡人生起伏,洒脱活出自我
处世宜有所礼让，人生应适当取舍
适时放弃是一种明智的选择
挥一挥手，不带走一片云彩
舍卒保车，从长计议
第六章 轻名利，富贵如浮云遮望眼
不在名利场中迷失自己
人誉之一笑，人骂之一笑
功成身退是人生完美的自存境界
在诱惑中，学会克制自己
有时吃亏也是福
水至清则无鱼，人至察则无徒
尺有所短，寸有所长
第七章 常忍耐，退一步海阔天空
真正的勇者是忍者
多一分平和，少一分躁动
退一步海阔天空
不必凡事都争个明白
偶尔也要顺从别人一下
包容他人的缺点和错误
下篇 厚黑做事
第一章 善藏身，隐于无形避风浪
脸上不露心事，嘴上不说目的
隐藏实力，等待时机
假痴不癫，善于隐忍
善忍者，成大谋
藏锋敛锐，才是成功之道
藏才隐智，谦卑做人
用平常心来掩饰不平常
第二章 不拘泥，灵活处事好成功
结识贵人，大树底下好乘凉
适度恭维，赢得人心
外圆内方，厚结人缘
价值需表达，口才是艺术
诱人以利，达到目的
处事有度，得理也要让三分
胸怀有乾坤，才是制人之道
能屈能伸，通机达变
高处做事，低处做人
行事有度，做人恰到好处
第三章 讲策略，巧妙变通以立世
主动揭牌，避免摊牌
该小人时，绝对不君子
脸厚心黑，推得圆滑
身处其中，置身事外
铺路搭桥胜过砌墙垒堵
勿揭人伤疤，得饶人处且饶人
宁得罪君子，不得罪小人
脸皮适当厚，自尊适时低
将欲取之，必先予之
借鸡生蛋，借钱生财
第四章 知进退，笑到才算赢
知人者智，自知者明
为人做衣，甘当配角
得意莫忘形，有酒莫尽欢
屈伸有度，进退自如
放下身份，匍匐前进
低调屈从，反客为主
“有所不为”才能“有所为”
花要半开，酒要半醉
害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无
第五章 谨言行，言辞不可太露骨
善者不辩，沉默是金
含糊其辞，模棱两可
学会倾听，勿为人师
先声夺人，出奇制胜
恰当把握，拒绝有度
厚道捧人，赢得合作
见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话
逢人只说三分话，未可全抛一片心
病从口入，祸从口出
善意“假话”，社交的良方......
在线试读部分章节
价值需表达，口才是艺术
古人说：仁者乐山，智者乐水。水的特点就是因物赋形，遇到什么东西就是什么形状。与人交际也是同样的道理，见到什么人，就应当说什么样的话。你与他站在同一立场，自然就容易拉近距离，消除隔阂。所以，厚黑学讲究“见人说人话，见神说神话”。这样自然就容易左右逢源，如鱼得水，上通下达，手眼通天了。要做到这些，就一定要注意说话的艺术。
自古至今，无论在商场上还是官场上，如何说话无疑都是重要的。口才好的人能把别人的说成自己的，让别人心甘情愿地给自己办事，还对你感激涕零、口口称谢；口才不好者给人办了好事还落个处处挨骂，人人喊打的局面。20世纪40年代，美国人将“口才、金钱、原子弹”列为世界上生存和发展的三大法宝。到了60年代，又将“口才、金钱、计算机”看成力量的三大武器。口才，即如何说话，一直独占鳌头。
口才研究的鼻祖是我国春秋时期的大纵横家鬼谷子。他的著作《鬼谷子》就是专门教人如何运用权谋策略和言谈辩论技巧，简而言之，就是为达到目的而察言观色，见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话，见神就说神话。鬼谷子的指导思想与儒家所推崇之仁义道德大相径庭。因此，很多人对此都不屑。但外交战术之得益与否，关系国家之安危兴衰；而生意谈判与竞争之策略是否得当，则关系到经济上的成败得失。即使在日常生活中，言谈技巧也关系到一个人处世为人之得体与否。
鬼谷子的弟子中有两个为著名，这两个弟子将他的学说发扬光大，更令他们自己在中华史册上占有了重要的一席之地。他们便是苏秦和张仪。当年苏秦凭其三寸不烂之舌合纵六国，配六国相印，统领军队共同抗秦，何等荣耀，何等显赫。而后，张仪又凭其谋略与游说技巧，轻易就拆散六国合纵，使秦国得以逐个击破，为秦国立下不朽的功劳。
当然，大多数人可能一生都不会有苏秦、张仪那样的机会，但这并不是说就不需要口才了。任何人的生活中都处处体现着口才的价值，与人交际当然要让人听着你的话舒服，同时又能彰显自己的机智或诚实。
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做人，应该秉持一种平和的心境?持心要正，处世低调、谦虚、宽容，不为世间的荣辱得失、是非利害所左右，从而对世俗浮名保持高度的清醒；
做事，应该掌握厚黑的手段，对付坏人要比坏人更坏，对付奸人要比奸人更奸，方能在风口浪尖上无往不利，在艰难与险阻中平稳前行。
平和是做人的良方，厚黑是做事的法宝。欲成大事须忍人所不能忍，方可为人所不能为。
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本书运用了大量经典事例，目的就是为了让大家明白，做人做事能够合理地运用这两种观点，才能掌控自己的命运。本书中说的平和并不是无为，同样厚黑也不是为达目的不择一切。因为凡事有度，掌握好度，灵活运用，才能真正成功。
《智慧人生：格局、情商与处世之道》 一、 transcend and transcend: The ultimate wisdom of harmonious living and strategic action This book is not merely a collection of anecdotes or a superficial guide to social graces. It is a profound exploration into the fundamental principles that govern human interaction, personal growth, and the successful navigation of life's complexities. It delves into the very essence of what it means to be a well-rounded individual, capable of both inner peace and outward effectiveness. At its core, the book argues that true wisdom lies not in mastering a singular skill, but in cultivating a holistic understanding of oneself and the world. It posits that the pursuit of harmony in one's inner life, the ability to maintain composure and clarity amidst challenges, is the bedrock upon which all external success is built. This inner equilibrium is not a passive state, but an active practice of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and the development of a resilient mindset. The narrative weaves together philosophical insights, psychological research, and practical applications, offering a comprehensive framework for understanding and enhancing human potential. It encourages readers to move beyond superficial politeness and to cultivate a deeper, more authentic connection with themselves and others. This involves an honest appraisal of one's motivations, strengths, and weaknesses, as well as a genuine empathy for the perspectives of those around them. The book emphasizes that effective communication is not just about what is said, but also how it is said, and, crucially, how it is received. It advocates for a mindful approach to dialogue, where listening is as important as speaking, and understanding precedes judgment. This nuanced perspective on communication extends beyond mere etiquette, touching upon the art of persuasion, conflict resolution, and the building of lasting relationships. II. The Art of Connection: Cultivating Meaningful Relationships This section is dedicated to the intricate dance of human connection, exploring the diverse strategies and profound insights that foster healthy, fulfilling relationships. It recognizes that our lives are inextricably bound to the people we interact with, and that the quality of these connections profoundly impacts our overall well-being and success. The book moves beyond generic advice on "liking people" or "being nice" to dissect the underlying psychological mechanisms that drive attraction, trust, and loyalty. It examines the subtle nuances of non-verbal communication, the power of active listening, and the importance of empathy in bridging divides and fostering understanding. Readers will discover how to identify and cultivate the qualities that make for truly meaningful bonds, whether in personal friendships, familial ties, or professional collaborations. A significant portion of this section is dedicated to the principles of effective dialogue, delving into how to articulate one's thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, while also being receptive to the perspectives of others. It explores the art of asking insightful questions, the power of positive affirmation, and the delicate skill of offering constructive feedback. The emphasis is on fostering an environment of mutual respect and open communication, where disagreements can be navigated constructively, leading to stronger, more resilient relationships. Furthermore, the book delves into the dynamics of group interactions, offering guidance on how to contribute effectively to teams, navigate differing opinions, and build consensus. It highlights the importance of collaboration, shared goals, and the recognition of individual contributions within a collective effort. For those aspiring to leadership roles, this section provides invaluable insights into inspiring and motivating others, fostering a sense of shared purpose, and creating environments where individuals feel valued and empowered. The overarching theme is that genuine connection is not a passive outcome but an active cultivation, requiring continuous effort, self-awareness, and a deep appreciation for the human experience in all its diversity. III. The Alchemy of Motivation: Fueling Personal Growth and Achievement This segment of the book is dedicated to unlocking the innate potential within each individual, exploring the multifaceted nature of motivation and the strategies for sustained personal growth and achievement. It acknowledges that while external circumstances play a role, the true engine of progress resides within. The book delves into the psychology of aspiration, examining the drivers behind setting ambitious goals and the mental fortitude required to pursue them relentlessly. It moves beyond fleeting enthusiasm to explore the cultivation of intrinsic motivation – the deep-seated desire to learn, grow, and contribute for the sake of the activity itself. Readers will learn to identify their passions, align their efforts with their values, and develop a resilient mindset that can weather setbacks and failures. A significant focus is placed on the power of self-belief and the impact of our internal dialogue on our ability to achieve. The book provides practical techniques for challenging limiting beliefs, reframing negative thoughts, and cultivating a positive and empowering self-perception. It explores the role of discipline, habit formation, and consistent effort in transforming aspirations into tangible results. Furthermore, this section offers guidance on developing effective strategies for learning and skill acquisition. It emphasizes the importance of adaptability, continuous improvement, and the willingness to embrace new challenges. The book encourages readers to step outside their comfort zones, experiment with new approaches, and view every experience, whether successful or not, as a valuable learning opportunity. The narrative also touches upon the concept of resilience – the ability to bounce back from adversity stronger and wiser. It explores the psychological and practical strategies for coping with stress, managing disappointment, and maintaining a forward-looking perspective even in the face of significant obstacles. Ultimately, this section aims to empower readers with the tools and mindset necessary to become the architects of their own success, fostering a lifelong journey of growth and fulfillment. IV. Navigating the Currents of Life: Strategic Action and Practical Wisdom This extensive section is dedicated to equipping readers with the practical wisdom and strategic acumen needed to navigate the complexities of everyday life and achieve success in various domains. It moves beyond abstract principles to offer actionable insights and proven techniques for effective action. A. The Art of Effective Communication: This is not simply about polite conversation; it's about understanding the deeper currents of human interaction. The book explores the nuances of verbal and non-verbal cues, teaching readers to decipher unspoken messages and to project clarity and confidence. It delves into the art of active listening, emphasizing the importance of truly hearing and understanding others before responding. Techniques for framing arguments, persuading others, and de-escalating conflict are thoroughly examined. Readers will learn how to articulate their needs and desires effectively, build rapport, and foster an environment of mutual understanding, whether in personal relationships or professional settings. The focus is on building bridges, not walls, and achieving shared objectives through open and honest dialogue. B. The Foundation of Personal Well-being: True effectiveness stems from a balanced inner state. This part of the book emphasizes the critical role of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and mental resilience in navigating life's challenges. It provides practical strategies for managing stress, cultivating mindfulness, and developing a positive outlook. Readers will learn to identify their emotional triggers, regulate their responses, and foster a sense of inner peace that underpins outward action. This section underscores that personal well-being is not a luxury but a prerequisite for sustained success and fulfillment. It explores the cultivation of self-discipline, the establishment of healthy habits, and the development of a robust mindset capable of overcoming adversity. C. Strategic Approaches to Interpersonal Dynamics: This segment offers profound insights into the art of building and maintaining strong relationships. It goes beyond superficial charm to explore the deeper principles of trust, respect, and mutual understanding. Readers will learn how to effectively collaborate with others, resolve disagreements constructively, and foster environments of cooperation and support. The book delves into the intricacies of team dynamics, leadership, and the art of influencing others positively. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing diverse perspectives, adapting communication styles, and fostering a sense of shared purpose to achieve collective goals. D. The Pillars of Success in Professional and Business Endeavors: For those venturing into the professional world or engaging in entrepreneurial pursuits, this section offers a wealth of practical guidance. It explores the principles of effective decision-making, strategic planning, and risk assessment. Readers will learn how to identify opportunities, overcome obstacles, and build sustainable ventures. The book delves into the nuances of negotiation, resource management, and the cultivation of a customer-centric approach. It provides insights into building and leading effective teams, fostering innovation, and adapting to evolving market dynamics. The emphasis is on a grounded, results-oriented approach, tempered with ethical considerations and a long-term perspective. E. The Wisdom of Measured Action and Thoughtful Conduct: Ultimately, this book champions a philosophy of thoughtful action. It encourages readers to approach situations with clarity, foresight, and a deep understanding of human nature. It advocates for integrity, perseverance, and the ability to learn from both successes and failures. The wisdom imparted here is not about manipulation or shortcuts, but about cultivating a profound understanding of oneself and others, enabling one to act with both grace and efficacy in all aspects of life. This involves a continuous process of learning, adaptation, and refinement, ensuring that one’s actions are always aligned with one’s values and long-term aspirations.
