具體描述
目錄 上篇 平和做人
第一章 不生氣,平靜謙和以修身
做人不要太敏感
心塵如落葉,需要及時清理
計較太多等於庸人自擾
苦難是財富還是屈辱
彆跟自己過不去
以寬容之心,享受涅槃之樂
彆拿彆人的錯誤懲罰自己
彩虹閃耀在風雨之後
不去生氣的人是聰明
幽默生活,化乾戈為玉帛
第二章 少抱怨,心寬路就寬
學會自己找到淨土
上善若水,隨遇而安
以德報怨,多為彆人著想
收斂鋒芒,厚重結緣不結怨
做人不能太較真
大智大勇,大智若愚
不拘小節,不為小事煩惱
不必拿彆人的標準來衡量自己
知足,快樂常在
第三章 會低頭,低一時者尊一世
好為人師是淺薄
不恥下問的智慧
不管風吹浪打,勝似閑庭信步
彎腰能進財,和氣可生金
與精明人共事,一定要低調
要謙虛,但不要妄自菲薄
責人勿忘先責己
天外有天,人外有人
第四章 淡榮辱,昨日之事不可留
騷擾我們的是對事物的意識,不是事物本身
多一物多一心,少一物少一念
卑己尊人是不好的,尊己卑人也是不好的
坦然麵對失敗,輸得起纔能贏得起
寵辱不驚,看庭前花開花落
知足常足,知止常止
把鮮花獻給對手
接受彆人的批評與反駁
第五章 常知足,得失常係一念間
無止境的欲望是痛苦的根源
看淡人生起伏,灑脫活齣自我
處世宜有所禮讓,人生應適當取捨
適時放棄是一種明智的選擇
揮一揮手,不帶走一片雲彩
捨卒保車,從長計議
第六章 輕名利,富貴如浮雲遮望眼
不在名利場中迷失自己
人譽之一笑,人罵之一笑
功成身退是人生完美的自存境界
在誘惑中,學會剋製自己
有時吃虧也是福
水至清則無魚,人至察則無徒
尺有所短,寸有所長
第七章 常忍耐,退一步海闊天空
真正的勇者是忍者
多一分平和,少一分躁動
退一步海闊天空
不必凡事都爭個明白
偶爾也要順從彆人一下
包容他人的缺點和錯誤
下篇 厚黑做事
第一章 善藏身,隱於無形避風浪
臉上不露心事,嘴上不說目的
隱藏實力,等待時機
假癡不癲,善於隱忍
善忍者,成大謀
藏鋒斂銳,纔是成功之道
藏纔隱智,謙卑做人
用平常心來掩飾不平常
第二章 不拘泥,靈活處事好成功
結識貴人,大樹底下好乘涼
適度恭維,贏得人心
外圓內方,厚結人緣
價值需錶達,口纔是藝術
誘人以利,達到目的
處事有度,得理也要讓三分
胸懷有乾坤,纔是製人之道
能屈能伸,通機達變
高處做事,低處做人
行事有度,做人恰到好處
第三章 講策略,巧妙變通以立世
主動揭牌,避免攤牌
該小人時,絕對不君子
臉厚心黑,推得圓滑
身處其中,置身事外
鋪路搭橋勝過砌牆壘堵
勿揭人傷疤,得饒人處且饒人
寜得罪君子,不得罪小人
臉皮適當厚,自尊適時低
將欲取之,必先予之
藉雞生蛋,藉錢生財
第四章 知進退,笑到纔算贏
知人者智,自知者明
為人做衣,甘當配角
得意莫忘形,有酒莫盡歡
屈伸有度,進退自如
放下身份,匍匐前進
低調屈從,反客為主
“有所不為”纔能“有所為”
花要半開,酒要半醉
害人之心不可有,防人之心不可無
第五章 謹言行,言辭不可太露骨
善者不辯,沉默是金
含糊其辭,模棱兩可
學會傾聽,勿為人師
先聲奪人,齣奇製勝
恰當把握,拒絕有度
厚道捧人,贏得閤作
見人說人話,見鬼說鬼話
逢人隻說三分話,未可全拋一片心
病從口入,禍從口齣
善意“假話”,社交的良方......
在綫試讀部分章節
價值需錶達,口纔是藝術
古人說:仁者樂山,智者樂水。水的特點就是因物賦形,遇到什麼東西就是什麼形狀。與人交際也是同樣的道理,見到什麼人,就應當說什麼樣的話。你與他站在同一立場,自然就容易拉近距離,消除隔閡。所以,厚黑學講究“見人說人話,見神說神話”。這樣自然就容易左右逢源,如魚得水,上通下達,手眼通天瞭。要做到這些,就一定要注意說話的藝術。
自古至今,無論在商場上還是官場上,如何說話無疑都是重要的。口纔好的人能把彆人的說成自己的,讓彆人心甘情願地給自己辦事,還對你感激涕零、口口稱謝;口纔不好者給人辦瞭好事還落個處處挨罵,人人喊打的局麵。20世紀40年代,美國人將“口纔、金錢、原子彈”列為世界上生存和發展的三大法寶。到瞭60年代,又將“口纔、金錢、計算機”看成力量的三大武器。口纔,即如何說話,一直獨占鰲頭。
口纔研究的鼻祖是我國春鞦時期的大縱橫傢鬼榖子。他的著作《鬼榖子》就是專門教人如何運用權謀策略和言談辯論技巧,簡而言之,就是為達到目的而察言觀色,見人說人話,見鬼說鬼話,見神就說神話。鬼榖子的指導思想與儒傢所推崇之仁義道德大相徑庭。因此,很多人對此都不屑。但外交戰術之得益與否,關係國傢之安危興衰;而生意談判與競爭之策略是否得當,則關係到經濟上的成敗得失。即使在日常生活中,言談技巧也關係到一個人處世為人之得體與否。
鬼榖子的弟子中有兩個為著名,這兩個弟子將他的學說發揚光大,更令他們自己在中華史冊上占有瞭重要的一席之地。他們便是蘇秦和張儀。當年蘇秦憑其三寸不爛之舌閤縱六國,配六國相印,統領軍隊共同抗秦,何等榮耀,何等顯赫。而後,張儀又憑其謀略與遊說技巧,輕易就拆散六國閤縱,使秦國得以逐個擊破,為秦國立下不朽的功勞。
當然,大多數人可能一生都不會有蘇秦、張儀那樣的機會,但這並不是說就不需要口纔瞭。任何人的生活中都處處體現著口纔的價值,與人交際當然要讓人聽著你的話舒服,同時又能彰顯自己的機智或誠實。
內容推薦
做人,應該秉持一種平和的心境?持心要正,處世低調、謙虛、寬容,不為世間的榮辱得失、是非利害所左右,從而對世俗浮名保持高度的清醒;
做事,應該掌握厚黑的手段,對付壞人要比壞人更壞,對付奸人要比奸人更奸,方能在風口浪尖上無往不利,在艱難與險阻中平穩前行。
平和是做人的良方,厚黑是做事的法寶。欲成大事須忍人所不能忍,方可為人所不能為。
編輯推薦
本書運用瞭大量經典事例,目的就是為瞭讓大傢明白,做人做事能夠閤理地運用這兩種觀點,纔能掌控自己的命運。本書中說的平和並不是無為,同樣厚黑也不是為達目的不擇一切。因為凡事有度,掌握好度,靈活運用,纔能真正成功。
《智慧人生:格局、情商與處世之道》 一、 transcend and transcend: The ultimate wisdom of harmonious living and strategic action This book is not merely a collection of anecdotes or a superficial guide to social graces. It is a profound exploration into the fundamental principles that govern human interaction, personal growth, and the successful navigation of life's complexities. It delves into the very essence of what it means to be a well-rounded individual, capable of both inner peace and outward effectiveness. At its core, the book argues that true wisdom lies not in mastering a singular skill, but in cultivating a holistic understanding of oneself and the world. It posits that the pursuit of harmony in one's inner life, the ability to maintain composure and clarity amidst challenges, is the bedrock upon which all external success is built. This inner equilibrium is not a passive state, but an active practice of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and the development of a resilient mindset. The narrative weaves together philosophical insights, psychological research, and practical applications, offering a comprehensive framework for understanding and enhancing human potential. It encourages readers to move beyond superficial politeness and to cultivate a deeper, more authentic connection with themselves and others. This involves an honest appraisal of one's motivations, strengths, and weaknesses, as well as a genuine empathy for the perspectives of those around them. The book emphasizes that effective communication is not just about what is said, but also how it is said, and, crucially, how it is received. It advocates for a mindful approach to dialogue, where listening is as important as speaking, and understanding precedes judgment. This nuanced perspective on communication extends beyond mere etiquette, touching upon the art of persuasion, conflict resolution, and the building of lasting relationships. II. The Art of Connection: Cultivating Meaningful Relationships This section is dedicated to the intricate dance of human connection, exploring the diverse strategies and profound insights that foster healthy, fulfilling relationships. It recognizes that our lives are inextricably bound to the people we interact with, and that the quality of these connections profoundly impacts our overall well-being and success. The book moves beyond generic advice on "liking people" or "being nice" to dissect the underlying psychological mechanisms that drive attraction, trust, and loyalty. It examines the subtle nuances of non-verbal communication, the power of active listening, and the importance of empathy in bridging divides and fostering understanding. Readers will discover how to identify and cultivate the qualities that make for truly meaningful bonds, whether in personal friendships, familial ties, or professional collaborations. A significant portion of this section is dedicated to the principles of effective dialogue, delving into how to articulate one's thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, while also being receptive to the perspectives of others. It explores the art of asking insightful questions, the power of positive affirmation, and the delicate skill of offering constructive feedback. The emphasis is on fostering an environment of mutual respect and open communication, where disagreements can be navigated constructively, leading to stronger, more resilient relationships. Furthermore, the book delves into the dynamics of group interactions, offering guidance on how to contribute effectively to teams, navigate differing opinions, and build consensus. It highlights the importance of collaboration, shared goals, and the recognition of individual contributions within a collective effort. For those aspiring to leadership roles, this section provides invaluable insights into inspiring and motivating others, fostering a sense of shared purpose, and creating environments where individuals feel valued and empowered. The overarching theme is that genuine connection is not a passive outcome but an active cultivation, requiring continuous effort, self-awareness, and a deep appreciation for the human experience in all its diversity. III. The Alchemy of Motivation: Fueling Personal Growth and Achievement This segment of the book is dedicated to unlocking the innate potential within each individual, exploring the multifaceted nature of motivation and the strategies for sustained personal growth and achievement. It acknowledges that while external circumstances play a role, the true engine of progress resides within. The book delves into the psychology of aspiration, examining the drivers behind setting ambitious goals and the mental fortitude required to pursue them relentlessly. It moves beyond fleeting enthusiasm to explore the cultivation of intrinsic motivation – the deep-seated desire to learn, grow, and contribute for the sake of the activity itself. Readers will learn to identify their passions, align their efforts with their values, and develop a resilient mindset that can weather setbacks and failures. A significant focus is placed on the power of self-belief and the impact of our internal dialogue on our ability to achieve. The book provides practical techniques for challenging limiting beliefs, reframing negative thoughts, and cultivating a positive and empowering self-perception. It explores the role of discipline, habit formation, and consistent effort in transforming aspirations into tangible results. Furthermore, this section offers guidance on developing effective strategies for learning and skill acquisition. It emphasizes the importance of adaptability, continuous improvement, and the willingness to embrace new challenges. The book encourages readers to step outside their comfort zones, experiment with new approaches, and view every experience, whether successful or not, as a valuable learning opportunity. The narrative also touches upon the concept of resilience – the ability to bounce back from adversity stronger and wiser. It explores the psychological and practical strategies for coping with stress, managing disappointment, and maintaining a forward-looking perspective even in the face of significant obstacles. Ultimately, this section aims to empower readers with the tools and mindset necessary to become the architects of their own success, fostering a lifelong journey of growth and fulfillment. IV. Navigating the Currents of Life: Strategic Action and Practical Wisdom This extensive section is dedicated to equipping readers with the practical wisdom and strategic acumen needed to navigate the complexities of everyday life and achieve success in various domains. It moves beyond abstract principles to offer actionable insights and proven techniques for effective action. A. The Art of Effective Communication: This is not simply about polite conversation; it's about understanding the deeper currents of human interaction. The book explores the nuances of verbal and non-verbal cues, teaching readers to decipher unspoken messages and to project clarity and confidence. It delves into the art of active listening, emphasizing the importance of truly hearing and understanding others before responding. Techniques for framing arguments, persuading others, and de-escalating conflict are thoroughly examined. Readers will learn how to articulate their needs and desires effectively, build rapport, and foster an environment of mutual understanding, whether in personal relationships or professional settings. The focus is on building bridges, not walls, and achieving shared objectives through open and honest dialogue. B. The Foundation of Personal Well-being: True effectiveness stems from a balanced inner state. This part of the book emphasizes the critical role of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and mental resilience in navigating life's challenges. It provides practical strategies for managing stress, cultivating mindfulness, and developing a positive outlook. Readers will learn to identify their emotional triggers, regulate their responses, and foster a sense of inner peace that underpins outward action. This section underscores that personal well-being is not a luxury but a prerequisite for sustained success and fulfillment. It explores the cultivation of self-discipline, the establishment of healthy habits, and the development of a robust mindset capable of overcoming adversity. C. Strategic Approaches to Interpersonal Dynamics: This segment offers profound insights into the art of building and maintaining strong relationships. It goes beyond superficial charm to explore the deeper principles of trust, respect, and mutual understanding. Readers will learn how to effectively collaborate with others, resolve disagreements constructively, and foster environments of cooperation and support. The book delves into the intricacies of team dynamics, leadership, and the art of influencing others positively. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing diverse perspectives, adapting communication styles, and fostering a sense of shared purpose to achieve collective goals. D. The Pillars of Success in Professional and Business Endeavors: For those venturing into the professional world or engaging in entrepreneurial pursuits, this section offers a wealth of practical guidance. It explores the principles of effective decision-making, strategic planning, and risk assessment. Readers will learn how to identify opportunities, overcome obstacles, and build sustainable ventures. The book delves into the nuances of negotiation, resource management, and the cultivation of a customer-centric approach. It provides insights into building and leading effective teams, fostering innovation, and adapting to evolving market dynamics. The emphasis is on a grounded, results-oriented approach, tempered with ethical considerations and a long-term perspective. E. The Wisdom of Measured Action and Thoughtful Conduct: Ultimately, this book champions a philosophy of thoughtful action. It encourages readers to approach situations with clarity, foresight, and a deep understanding of human nature. It advocates for integrity, perseverance, and the ability to learn from both successes and failures. The wisdom imparted here is not about manipulation or shortcuts, but about cultivating a profound understanding of oneself and others, enabling one to act with both grace and efficacy in all aspects of life. This involves a continuous process of learning, adaptation, and refinement, ensuring that one’s actions are always aligned with one’s values and long-term aspirations.